


The True Meaning of Loveless

by killerkitty15



Category: Loveless
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dubious Consent, M/M, Obsessive Behavior, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Sadism, Sibling Incest, Slow Romance, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 17:34:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6619906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerkitty15/pseuds/killerkitty15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ritsuka is starting to dig into his brother's past and Soubi is trying to survive and see Ritsuka again. What none of them know, is that Seimei's plan is a lot more sinister than they imagined.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The True Meaning of Loveless

**Soubi**

"Why did you butt in Soubi? Did you take pity on Nisei?" Seimei asked, looking back at me from the corner of his eyes, "Do you feel sympathy for him? But didn't you hate him?"

Oh, yes, I hate him, I longed to say, I hate him for hurting Ritsuka. For making him cry. "Not exactly..." I said, my eyes going to the other fighter's hunched, kneeling form.

"Oh?" my former sacrifice said with an amused, patronizing, quirk of the lips. It was the only slip in his emotionless mask that Seimei had allowed all night. "Then what is it then?"

I looked away, unable to say what I truly wished. _I hate him for what he's done...but he shouldn't have to suffer like this. No one should have to suffer and be your fighter._

Seimei smiled, satisfied by my lack of response.

"If I hadn't seen him for myself..." Mikado hissed, glaring at the cause of her pain from behind her fighter, "I wouldn't believe Ritsuka was your brother."

Almost immediately, Seimei scowled. "What did you say?" he asked, his voice dangerously calm as he looked at the female sacrifice. 

Hate burned so clearly in her eyes as she prepared herself to feel pain for her fighter. "I've met your brother and what you've done to him makes me hate you even more!"

His fingers twitched, betraying his anger, "I've done nothing-."

"Lair!" she snapped, a cut appearing on her cheek as Tokin and Nisei began to fight again, "I've told him about what you've done, Seimei! You should've seen his face! He looked so lost and confused; when I told him he looked like you, he had been so happy! Ritsuka counted on you and you _failed_ him! You left him all alone, a little boy, and you took away" –Mikado pointed at me –"his only protection!"

Seimei had gotten colder and more emotionless as the girl continued to speak.

_This isn't_ _good_ , I thought, pity for this girl like lead in my stomach, _not good at all. Or, perhaps, not good for me._

"You are a terrible elder brother," she said quietly, "We aren't just fighting because of what you did to me, not anymore, we're also fighting for the child you abandoned!"

Everything was silent except for the sounds of the spell battle. "Nisei," the male sacrifice said, glancing at his second fighter, "Finish. Them. Now."

I looked at the girl, barely older than Ritsuka. I recognized the same hardness, the same determination, which I had seen in Ritsuka's eyes. He and Mikado were children that acted older than their age.

_They should've been allowed their childhood._

I hoped Moonless would win. That I wouldn't get beaten. _Ritsuka…my Ritsuka…I miss you. I'm sorry, I miss you, forgive me._

_Ritsuka…_

* * *

**Ritsuka**

"Youji, put down the game."

"No~ a little longer!"

Natsuo sighed, "Youji-."

"Please, Nat-chan, please!"

"Come on, Youji," I huffed from where I leaned against the wall, I was finally starting to get annoyed, "Let's just get this over with…"

"Ugh, you both are no fun!" the blue haired boy pouted as he turned off the game, "Do you guys have a stick up your asses or something?"

"We came here for a reason," Natsuo said, pulling his sacrifice away from the computer by the ear, "Now let me investigate."

He yelped, startled, and went to stand beside me. "So…are you alright with Nat-chan and I doing this?" he asked, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

"I…I want Soubi back…" I admitted, eyes going to my sock covered feet and I blushed, "If…If this'll help get him back…I-I'll do it."

"Yo, this file is locked," Natsuo said before Youji could respond, "It says that I need a password."

"…Try wisdom re-."

"Tried it already."

"Huh? Oh, um, 'Beloved'?"

"…No."

"'Nisei'…'Soubi'?"

"No and no."

"'Seven Moons'?"

"Nuh-uh."

"…'Ritsuka'," Youji suggested, face serious, "or 'Loveless'."

The red head's fingers flew across the keyboard and, soon, he was nodding. "'Ritsuka' worked…" he muttered, his face enthralled with whatever he was seeing on the screen, "It's a lot of pictures of you, again, this time with Seimei….Wanna see or…?"

"Yes," I said immediately, walking up and looking over Natsuo's shoulder. The pictures made me smile even as my heart dropped into my stomach. There were so _many._

Seimei with my arms around his neck, surrounded by Christmas wrapping paper.

Me and Seimei covered in flour from when we tried baking.

On Seimei's birthday, me in his lap as he held up the computer games and books I got him.

On my birthday, me wearing the sweater he had bought me and taking a photo –using the new camera that he had also gotten me –of whoever was taking the photo. Probably Seimei. The next photo was of the same day, only Seimei was in it this time. He was wrapped in a blanket with my arms wrapped around him and holding his arms at his sides, our heads next to each other.

Me, curled beneath the heavy blankets on Seimei's bed and sleeping.

"You really are his fetish," Youji said drily, crossing his arms.

"Kinda creepy," Natsuo added, "Oh, hey, there're documents on here. Like journals. Why would he keep something so private on his computer?"

I blushed, uneasy. "He knew I'd never look at it…I-I value people's secrets…"

"That's stupid," the blue haired Zero mumbled.

"We can print them out and read them. Give you the highlights. That alright, Yo-chan?"

"Yeah it'd be interesting. I guess."

"Th-Thank you," I stammered, overcome by gratitude as I blushed bright red and stupid, happy tears stung behind my eyes.

"Ritsuka, you're our friend~!" Youji purred, hugging me tightly around the neck, "Don't be silly, we'll obviously help you no matter how bothersome it is!"

I smiled, shyly, seeing Natsou look at us from the corner of his eye.

"This second one opens with 'Beloved'," the ginger said typing away, "It's all documents and paperwork…I don't understand any of this shit."

"Maybe we should show it to Mikado?" I suggested, trying not to remember the awful things she had told me. "She _was_ the closest to Seimei."

After agreeing to visit Moonless and confirming that they'd read Seimei's "journal" or whatever, Natsuo and Youji left. I was tired and my energy was drained, once they were gone. I said a brief "good night" to Mother before struggling up the stairs.

_So tiring…_

I fell face first onto my bed, not bothering to change my clothes. Being alone, however, meant I was vulnerable to depressing thoughts.

Thoughts of how Seimei treated me and how other had been treated by him.

But, most of all, thoughts of Soubi. Soubi's smile, his laugh, the way he looked at me, his kisses, his "I love you"s, all of it plagued me. It was like they were festering in my mind. All I wanted was to be able to speak to him, to feel his hand on mine and his arms around me. The knowledge that he'll protect me tomorrow and the next day.

Alone, in my bedroom, I cried into my pillow.

_Soubi…am I took weak? Too young? Is it because I'm not Seimei, that it's not my name on your neck? Why…why did you leave me? I don't want to be alone again!_

* * *

**Soubi** and _Seimei_

Ritsuka raises me on a platform.

**He makes me feel loved**

**Like I am worth something.**

_He gives me a reason to breathe._

_He is a special treasure_

_The only one that is worthy._

Ritsuka is the oxygen I breathe

He is the food I eat

The water I drink.

**I would die for him.**

_I would kill for him._

Ritsuka is my weakness.

_His words piece my heart_

_Scar my skin._

**He can turn a knife on me**

**And I wouldn't even see it**

**I'd be too entranced by his lips.**

Ritsuka is someone I want to protect.

_His innocence, his soul, is mine._

_No one will take it._

**His life, his heart, is in my hands.**

**No one will hurt him.**

Ritsuka is mine and mine alone.

It is my duty

My purpose

To have him at my side.

To guide him

And protect him.

I love Aoyagi Ritsuka.

With him, we are _bottomless._


End file.
